An incredibly rude border agent Customs and Border Protection officer at Los Angeles International Airport hassled my family and me upon our recent return from Germany. For far too long, far too many of CBP agents have been demeaning and now seem more emboldened than ever to be jerks.

Condescending CBP Officer At LAX Tells Me To “Use My Big Boy Voice” After Longhaul Flight

I say border agent but technically, these men and women are called Customs and Border Protection (CBP) officers, the black-uniformed officers who check your passports as you enter the United States.

We had arrived on SAS from Copenhagen and used a special lane for green card holders (that itself is interesting: permanent residents and citizens used to share the same line, but now there is a special line for green card holders). My children and I are citizens, but my wife is not because Germany still makes it difficult to maintain dual citizenship and Heidi is wisely not going to give up her German passport.

When we reached the front of the queue, an officer signalled for us to come over and took our passports. The conversation then went like this:

Officer: Where have you been?

Me: Germany.

Officer: Where in Germany?

Me: The southwest corner of the county.

Officer: The southwest corner of the country is not a place. I asked where you where.

Me: Lörrach.

Officer: What’s that?

Me: Lörrach, a city near the Swiss and French border.

Officer: You have to use your big boy voice in here. Look around at all the people in this room. Think you can handle that, partner?

That last sentence set me off. This uneducated slob was mocking me in front of my family because he could not understand a front-rounded vowel like ö. My voice was certainly loud enough…

I looked at Heidi. She could see I was upset.

I was faced with a pragmatic choice. Put the officer in his place, “You will be respectful, boy,” or just let it go, knowing that this CBP officer had the authority to deny my wife entry to the USA, even with a permanent green card, or revoke my Global Entry.

So I remained silent and just glared at him.

He handed me back the passports and we walked away.

CONCLUSION

I don’t understand why these thugs processing passports are so rude (I have my theories regarding their compensation for shortcomings in other areas). I was not rude nor was I impolite; I had my family with me and was just trying to get home after 16 hours of travel.

I wish there was a way to hold folks like that accountable without being fearful of being denied entry, losing your Global Entry, or being subjected to secondary screening.

But power is like a boomerang and while these imbeciles might feel emboldened now to act rudely at border checkpoints, there will come a day when they reap what they sow.