The Year Of NO…Reclaiming My Boundaries In 2025
A personal reflection as we enter 2025 that goes beyond this blog but also will shape the way I travel and spend my time.
Saying NO In 2025
I made a lot of progress in 2024; I’d call it a positive year, overall. I’m thankful that my wife and I celebrated our 10th anniversary, and our relationship continues to grow deeper. I’m thankful for my beautiful children, who are smart and making great academic progress. I’m thankful for a lovely family and in-laws and the time spent with them. I’m thankful for friends who care, for deep conversation and joyous laughter over coffee or dinner. I’m thankful for my work, which not only feeds my family but is something I enjoy and can continue to improve in. I’m thankful to you, dear blog readers, for the many engaging conversations on Live And Let’s Fly. I’m thankful for a faith that grounds me and informs the way in which I look at almost any matter.
But I’ve noticed a shortcoming that I have already been working on but will focus on in 2025: saying NO. I don’t like conflict, I like to please people, and it brings me great joy to help others, whether professionally or personally.
Socrates talked about the “golden mean,” this idea that you should not give if it hinders your ability to continue to give. There’s a biblical warrant for such action in the idea of being shrewd as stated, for example, in Matthew 10:16 or Proverbs 22:3.
People take advantage of you if you let them. I found this out with my former business and I continue to see it in various relationships…there are “givers” and “takers” and the “takers” are pretty good at extracting from the “givers.”
Backbone cannot be reduced to saying no or being abrupt, disagreeable, or contrarian. But it would do me good to be a little more abrupt and disagreeable, especially when it comes to my work outside this blog.
And maybe a little more on this blog too…I go out of my way to be sensitive to most who wish to comment here, but it often leads to off-topic and counterproductive discussion. Maybe part of saying “no” is also saying no to obnoxious jerks or trolls who do not add to the conversation here (conversation, I must add, that I am deeply grateful for).
I think it would do us all good to take stock of whether we are givers or takers and try to strike a better balance. Saying no is not selfish…it is taking care of yourself so that you can continue to take care of others.
On the Chinese calendar, this is the year of the snake…I hate snakes, but I do hope, borrowing that language from the Gospel according to Mathew, that I will be shrewd as a serpent this year with my time and resources. May that be true for all of us.