My seatmate was really something on a recent United Airlines flight…

My Special Seatmate On United Airlines

I flew from Los Angeles (LAX) to Chicago (ORD) on United Airlines. As always, unless you buy a first class ticket, your upgrade will not clear, even as a Premier 1K. I always seem to come close (maybe #4 or #5 on an upgrade list that can stretch over 100 passengers), but never clear…close, but no cigar.

Instead, I found myself seated in the bulkhead row in economy class. On the 757-300, while economy class seats are configured 3-3, row eight has only two seats, 8D and 8E (there is no window seat because of the emergency exit door). I’d rather take this seat knowing I’ll have a seatmate than hoping for an open middle seat but invariably winding up with a passenger in the middle.

Moments afer I took my seat, a woman sat down next to me, popped off her shoes, and immediately put her feet up on the bulkhead.

Ugh…

In fact, she encroached on my space, placing her feet between the two literature pouches.

I gently told her that it was rude to put your feet on the wall of the plane.

She rolled her eyes and ignored me, putting on her headphones.

Her sock even had a hole in it! Almost as if she was giving me the middle finger!

She also left her bag on the ground, oblivious to the fact that you must stow even personal items in the bulkhead row.

Before takeoff, while performing exit row verifications (flight attendants ask, “Are you willing and able to assist the crew in the event of an emergency?” and require a verbal “yes” to remain in the exit row), the flight attendant told this woman that she must store her purse in the overhead locker.

The woman just looked at me and ponted ot the bag.

Trying to be a gentleman, I grabbed it and placed in the overhead bin above our row.

We took off and her feet remained in place on the bulkhead.

As I watched first class being served dinner, I ordered a fruit and cheese plate…as a consolation prize for not getting an upgrade, United offers 1K members free food and drinks in economy class.

This woman then dared to reach over and sample my cheese!

I looked at her, admittedly with a smile, and said, “Excuse me!”

She just glared at me and took a handful of grapes.

I said, “I wasn’t kidding about the feet. It’s rude to put your foot on the bulkhead.”

Again, she looked at me like I was crazy and went back to her reading.

As we approached Chicago, I thought about broaching the subject once more…her feet were still in my space and on the bulhead wall.

But then I thought: happy wife, happy life, right?

And I kept my mouth shut.

(Dear Heidi, if you are reading this, it’s all in good fun…lots of love, Matthew)